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Investigate falling gas prices!

Posted by Richard on September 2, 2006

The price of unleaded regular at a gas station near me has dropped 20 cents from when I filled up last week. I’m down to a quarter tank, so I could have filled up this morning. But I’m going to wait until I’m on empty in case the price drops further in the next couple of days. I heard an industry analyst last night predict the price would fall to $2 or less in the next few months.

If prices keep dropping into the fall, I’m sure some demagogue in Congress will schedule hearings to look into it, right? Probably before the election recess. I can’t wait to see oil industry executives being grilled by hostile and suspicious senators or representatives:

"Mr. Big Oil Executive, the American people have been watching these gas prices drop day after day, week after week, and they want to know what’s going on! There’s no cause that I can see, no logical explanation. It seems to me that you and the other big oil companies have just arbitrarily decided to ratchet down prices and slash your profits, and the shareholders be damned! How do you justify what you’re doing?

"I’m especially disturbed by the revelation that you’re cutting prices on existing inventory. The gasoline that’s already in the storage tanks of your distribution centers and service stations was bought some time ago at a much higher price. But your selling price reflects today’s market, not the market in which the gas was bought. Is that fair? Why, in some cases you’re selling the gas for less than it cost! Why shouldn’t this Congress put a stop to that?"

The news media, of course, will do human interest stories to illustrate the impact of the price drops on average Americans:

"I’m at a Shell station in suburban Maryland, Bob, and here’s a woman filling up her Prius. Hi, there! How have these falling gas prices affected you?"

"I just don’t understand it. They change from one week to the next for no reason, and you never know what they’re going to be. How am I supposed to budget under these circumstances? And when I think of how much more I paid to get a hybrid — don’t get me started!"

"I’m sure many of our viewers can relate, thank you. Here’s a man filling up a big pickup truck. Sir, what effect have the lower prices had on your family?"

"Well, it’s been an adjustment, that’s for sure. I’m paying almost ten bucks less a tankful than I used to, and I drive a lot, so it adds up. My wife drives a lot, too, what with running the kids around and everything."

"What kinds of adjustments have you made? Are you buying more prescription drugs than you used to?"

"Well, no… we don’t need any more of those. But we’re buying better cuts of meat and trying to go out more often. And I’m puttin a little extra into my 401K at work, ’cause I expect my energy fund isn’t going to do as well as it’s been doing the last few years… But we’re OK. It’s people like my mom that I worry about. She doesn’t drive anymore, but she counts on that Exxon dividend… I can help her out if I have to, I guess…"

"Thank you, sir. I’m sure we’re all hoping your mom — like the rest of us — gets through these trying times OK. So that’s the story out here on the street, Bob — people are confused and concerned, but coping as best they can. Back to you in the studio."

Yeah, I can’t wait until politicians and the media start looking into these falling gas prices. That’ll make for some must-see TV.

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5 Responses to “Investigate falling gas prices!”

  1. Dan Meyer said

    I’ll believe it when I see it on Bill O’Reilly’s “Talking Points Memo”.

  2. Anonymous said

    Heck, Dan, I’ll bet O’Reilly is smugly self-satisfied — he probably thinks gas prices are coming down because of the incredible persuasive power of his repeated exhortations to the oil industry to “put the country first” and “not be so greedy.”

  3. Anna Nelson said

    Hasn’t anyone figured out that gas prices are falling because election day will soon be here and Republicans are hoping we will all forget how their major oil company friends have been lining their pockets with our money so they can contribute millions to their political buddies?

  4. Anonymous said

    You bet, Anna! All the economically illiterate paranoid leftist moonbats have figured it out! 😉

  5. Ivan said

    You’re all a bunch of slaves!

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