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Email sig lines

Posted by Richard on November 29, 2005

Wow, has it really been almost a week? I’m sorry — I should have put up an "on vacation" sign. I didn’t really go on vacation, but I sure did avoid the computer. In fact, I barely glanced at email and did virtually no other reading, much less any writing. Got a bit burned out from work, plus I had some other priorities while I was off for Thanksgiving.

This is another busy week at work, so I don’t have time for serious blogging right now. But I haven’t done a quotes post lately, so thought I’d share some of my collection of email sig lines with you:

BEGIN Disclaimer #321
The humor in this post is by no means the opinion of my employer, which
should be obvious since they so rarely exhibit a sense of humor.
Further, the humor is not a product of any other person who didn’t do
the typing, so don’t go around telling everyone that you cracked the
preceding joke(s) first. Should this humor not be deemed funny by a
particular reader, it should be made clear that there is no stated
guarantee of amusement, accuracy, appropriateness, or even taste; said
reader will have no recourse under the law.
END Disclaimer #321

Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.

I am Andy Rooney of Borg: You ever wonder WHY resistance is futile?

You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

Dopeler Shift — The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

Does anal-retentive have a hyphen?

The early bird gets the worm, but it’s the second mouse that gets the

If you ain’t making waves, the boat ain’t moving.

"Do, or go to. There is no try," said Yoda, refusing Luke’s best java.

A consultant is someone you hire to borrow your watch to tell you the

Two rules for life:
1. Don’t tell people everything you know.

Never use more than three words to say "I don’t know."

A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move
and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use duct tape.

Worrying is like riding a rocking horse. It gives you something to do,
but it gets you nowhere.

Hofstadter’s Law — "The time and effort required to complete a project
are always more than you expect, even when you take into account
Hofstadter’s Law."

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who think in binary,
and those who don’t.

The Borg assimilated my race & all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

When you only have two minutes to do something that takes three, wait
until you have three.

Whether your dog is 10 pounds or 110 pounds, it is still a dog.
However, a 10 pound cat is a pet, but a 110 pound cat is higher than you
on the food chain.

A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet and in e-mail?

Capitalism: The unequal distribution of wealth.
Socialism: The equal distribution of poverty.

Feel free to drop your favorite into the comments.

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