Billll recommended these 31 jokes for nerds. I actually got almost all of them. I especially liked 19-22 and 27. Enjoy! And hit the YouTube link to post a comment about which one you liked best, or to look for an explanation of one you didn't get.
Posts Tagged ‘humor’
Nerd humor
Posted by Richard on April 16, 2011
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: humor, nerds | Leave a Comment »
Jarhead joke
Posted by Richard on April 16, 2011
A friend sent me this:
In January, 2013 an old man walks up to a Marine guard in front of the White
House. He says, "Son, will President Obama be in today?"The Marine says, "Sir, Mr. Obama lost the election. He no longer lives here."
"Thank you, son."
The next day, the old man approaches the guard again and asks, "Is President
Obama in today?""No, sir, he lost the election. He no longer lives here."
"Thank you, son."
The third day, the old man comes up again, and asks again if President Obama
is in. The Marine replies, "Sir, as I've told you the last two days, Mr. Obama
lost the election. He doesn't live here now. Why do you keep asking?The old man smiles and says, "Because I love to hear you say it, son."
The Marine snaps to attention, smiles and says, "Same time tomorrow, Sir!"
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: humor, obama | Leave a Comment »
Save the wight bulb
Posted by Richard on March 6, 2011
If you were to mash up Richard Wagner, Elmer Fudd, and some scruffy Greenpeace activist, the result might be something like this. Enjoy!
HT: Legal Insurrection via American Digest (where you can read an excerpt from Ayn Rand's Anthem that's quite apropos)
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: environmentalism, humor, music | Leave a Comment »
Ontology, Venn diagrams, and the TSA
Posted by Richard on January 16, 2011
I saw Touching Your Junk: An Ontological Complaint at the end of December. I managed to save my Firefox session history after my computer meltdown. Today, I finally reinstalled FF, and when I fired it up and reloaded my last session, there it was. I think it's marvelous. Check it out.
No, don't just click the link, look at the first Venn diagram, and move on. The author of the post (Zarf) found it wanting, analyzed it, deconstructed it, and finally created a proper Venn diagram that captured the intent of the original. I think he did a bang-up job, and I really got a kick out of it. If you're at all into ontology (when was the last time you saw the phrase "into ontology"?), I think you'll like it, too.
I'm afraid I don't recall who pointed me to it, so no hat tip.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: airport security, humor, ontology, venn diagrams | 2 Comments »
Holiday music
Posted by Richard on December 25, 2010
Some of you no doubt traveled somewhere in the last couple of days, and if it involved an airport, it probably wasn't a particularly pleasant experience. For your Christmas Eve entertainment, here are some ditties that hopefully will evoke a smile — if perhaps a somewhat rueful one. Enjoy, and have a very Merry Christmas!
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: air travel, airport security, christmas, humor, music | Leave a Comment »
Olberman in memoriam
Posted by Richard on November 6, 2010
OK, let me start by saying I think MSNBC's suspension of Keith Olberman is stupid and unfair. It's not that I feel sorry for this annoying POS, who is perhaps the most obnoxious poltroon ever to grace the airwaves. But, despite the fact that MSNBC allowed this clown pretending to be a journalist to actually anchor what they call "hard" news, the fact that he was a rabid left-wing partisan was never a secret to anyone with an IQ above room temperature.
To think that three donations to Socialist Democrat candidates would somehow damage Olberman's "credibility" as an "objective journalist" is just laughable. Olberman, the sports reporter with pretensions of grandeur? The pompous blowhard with the ridiculous Edward R. Murrow impersonation? The sneering, self-righteous windbag who routinely spewed forth the most vitriolic, mean-spirited, leftist commentary of anyone ever given access to a microphone?
Forget Olberman's history for a moment. This is the network of Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow, Contessa Brewer, and Ed Schultz, for cryin' out loud. Are we supposed to believe that they're all still pure, unbiased, objective journalists because they haven't been caught contributing to Socialist Democrat candidates? Do the MSNBC execs really think they can maintain the illusion of impartiality by banning contributions to the cause their network pimps for every hour of the day? It is to laugh.
Anyway, this "Keith Olberman – In Memoriam" video from Reason.tv is pretty funny. And despite the unfairness of his fate, I'm sure not shedding any tears for the a$$hole.
HT: Instapundit
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: humor, media bias, msm | Leave a Comment »
“Call Me Senator”
Posted by Richard on October 29, 2010
Famed Hollywood director David Zucker (Airplane, Naked Gun, Naked Gun 2.5, Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4, An American Carol) has created a hilarious spoof of Barbara Boxer's "call me Senator" moment. Enjoy, and then share it with your friends in California. After Nov. 2, I hope we'll soon be calling her "ex-Senator."
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: boxer, california, elections, humor, politics, zucker | Leave a Comment »
Craig Ferguson on anti-depressants
Posted by Richard on October 20, 2010
From America's second-best Scottish import, after 18-year-old Caol Ila:
I don't want to be cheered up by chemicals. I want to be cheered up the old-fashioned way — by other people's misfortunes. And… and… by the music of Bobby McFerrin.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: craig ferguson, humor, television | Leave a Comment »
Bad news, good news
Posted by Richard on October 9, 2010
James Taranto, commenting on news that three dozen people at an Obama rally received medical treatment after become dizzy and fainting:
The bad news is, President Obama made them sick. The good news is, they can still get insurance even though they have a pre-existing condition.
<rimshot />
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: health care, humor, obama | Leave a Comment »
Obama to negotiate with wildfire
Posted by Richard on October 5, 2010
This "Breaking News" parody is really funny because the premise is completely ridiculous, and yet in character. Enjoy!
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: appeasement, humor, obama, parody, video | Leave a Comment »
“You Picked a Fine Time to Lead Us, Barack”
Posted by Richard on September 30, 2010
For your musical entertainment and amusement, here's a pretty clever take-off on the old Kenny Rogers hit, "You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille." It's written and sung by Jonathan McWhite, accompanied by his brother David on guitar. Enjoy!
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: humor, music, obama, satire | Leave a Comment »
Best Paul Shanklin parody
Posted by Richard on September 20, 2010
In response to my "Obamaville" post, someone asked me offline what I considered Paul Shanklin's best parody song. That's tough, but I know which is my favorite: Elvis Presley (or someone like him) singing "In a Yugo" (to the tune of "In the Ghetto"). The lyrics are just priceless — and timeless.
As the snow flies…
At a used car lot on the edge of town
A liberal guy and a liberal gal
Buy a Yugo
And they drive with pride'cause if there's one thing that this world needs
It's environmental friends who'll take the lead
In a YugoThey say, "People don't you understand?
Those Suburbans are ruining the land!"
But they'll wish they had a full-size van one dayThey're pointing fingers at you and me
They say we're too blind to see
But do we simply use our heads
And choose a better way
As those small wheels turnFifty miles to the gallon and their knees on their chests
We're gonna save enough gas for all the rest
In a Yugo
Then one day on the interstate
They suddenly lose control
They swerve to miss a baby duck
And are squashed beneath a produce truck
But they drove with prideAnd as the crowds drive past the little flat car
You know they saved a lot of gas but they didn't get far
In a Yugo
And as they're trapped insideAt a used car lot on the other side of town
A liberal guy and a liberal gal
Buy a Yugo
And they drive with pride…
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: environmentalism, humor, music, satire | Leave a Comment »
Obamaville
Posted by Richard on September 19, 2010
Paul Shanklin has been creating great musical parodies for almost two decades, many of them featured on the Rush Limbaugh Show. His latest is his best in years. Ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure and amusement, here's George W. Bush (or someone like him) singing "Obamaville":
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: bush, humor, music, obama, satire | Leave a Comment »
“We Con the World” is back on YouTube
Posted by Richard on July 10, 2010
The Flotilla Choir's marvelous "We Are the World" parody about "peaceful travelers" with guns and knives who just want to bring Gaza "some cheese and missiles for the kids" is once again available on YouTube. But why leave Combs Spouts Off? You can watch it right here.
This is a slightly different version, with some minor lyric changes (mostly improvements). And it includes more video clips of the "humanitarians" attacking the Israeli soldiers boarding their ship.
YouTube removed the video about a month ago and apparently restored it three days ago (judging from the comments). I guess the anti-Israelis running Warner Music and/or YouTube finally gave up on their ludicrous copyright infringement story. If song parodies constituted copyright infringement, Weird Al Yankovic would be selling tires or something.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: entertainment, hamas, humor, islamofascism, israel, music, satire, terrorism | Leave a Comment »
Bulwer-Lytton winners
Posted by Richard on July 9, 2010
The 2010 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced, and it's a fine crop of crap. If you're not familiar with the Bulwer-Lytton contest, it's named after the 19th-century English novelist who penned the (in)famous opening sentence that began, "It was a dark and stormy night…" Contest entries must consist of a single sentence that's intended to be the opening sentence of the worst possible novel.
There are a number of categories, each with a winner, runners-up, and in some cases "Dishonorable Mentions." Apparently, there's no shortage of people who can write badly on purpose. (Come to think of it, there's no shortage of people who can write badly, period.)
This year's overall winner was Molly Ringle of Seattle for this gem:
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss–a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.
Here's a snappy little Dishonorable Mention that I really liked:
The Zinfandel poured pinkly from the bottle, like a stream of urine seven hours after eating a bowl of borscht.
Alf Seegert
Salt Lake City, UT
I'll spare you involuntary exposure to any of the Vile Puns category winners. Venture into that section only if you have the stomach for it.
(HT: Writer's Blog)
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: humor, writing | Leave a Comment »