The alternative is to quote Howe’s comments in their entirety, because they’re really much more entertaining than the skit. Especially if you’re a “Once Upon a Time” fan.
Be sure to scroll on down and read Caleb Howe’s short biography. It’s pretty funny too.
Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx was born on October 2, 1890. He was, IMHO, one of the 3 or 4 funniest men of the 20th century. If you've never seen him as Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup, you don't know what you're missing. Check out A Night at the Opera and A Day at the Races, too. Here are some of my favorite Groucho quotes.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I have nothing but respect for you — and not much of that.
Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
She got her good looks from her father–he's a plastic surgeon.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho died on August 19, 1977. Three days after Elvis. So almost no one noticed.
Here's an interesting bit of Groucho trivia from IMDB:
In 1989, the Republic of Abkhazia (in the former Soviet Georgia) proclaimed independence. To show the world they were rejecting their Communist past, they issued two postage stamps of Groucho Marx and John Lennon (as opposed to Karl Marx and V.I. Lenin).
I understand that a growing number of young people rely on comedy news like The Daily Show to keep them up on current events. That's generally a bit troubling. But in the case of Climategate, it may be good news. Because while all the broadcast networks are basically ignoring the story, Jon Stewart is doing a terrific job of covering it. Enjoy:
I wish everyone in the country would watch this 4-minute bit by comedian Louis CK from the Conan O'Brien show. Especially everyone under 40, every ingrate with a sense of entitlement, and every "non-contributing zero" (there's a fair amount of overlap in those categories).
Honestly, though, we're all guilty sometimes of failing to appreciate the amazing world in which we live, and Louis CK offers the comedic equivalent of the slap upside the head that we deserve at those times. Very funny and very true — which is better than either alone.
Friday night, Jed Baer emailed a few of us about this video at the von Mises Institute, but it wouldn't load for me. Yesterday, LGF posted it. It's damned funny, but in a slightly disturbing way — both the overall idea and the positions of the panel members are just too close to the truth.
It's from the Onion News Network, which Charles Johnson called "one of the last remaining credible mainstream news sources." Enjoy!
I don't care what your politics are or what you think of John McCain — you've got to watch this. At tonight's Al Smith Dinner in New York, McCain delivered one of the funniest stand-up comedy routines I've seen in years.
McCain's delivery and timing are simply terrific. I laughed my ass off. Barack laughed his ass off. Heck, even Hillary laughed her ass off.
He scored some great points in the process, too. And his serious comments about Obama (starting about 2:00 into the second part) were classy as friggin' hell — it choked me up.
And then, after that, his closing was hilarious! That may be funniest introduction of a speaker I've ever heard. Watch the whole thing. It's well worth your time.
Miss me? Sorry for the week-long hiatus. I've been sick, followed by not-so-sick but busy. Haven't been in the mood to spend much time on the computer or paying attention to the news.
Before getting sick (actually, as I was getting sick), I saw An American Carol and thoroughly enjoyed it. This is one of those movies that critics hate, but audiences enjoy. It's flawed and uneven, for sure, but there are plenty of laughs. If you liked David Zucker's other zany stuff (Airplane, the multiple Naked Guns, Scary Movie 3/4), you'll like this one, too.
Robert Davi and Kelsey Grammer were especially good. Kevin Farley's performance, although adequate, kept reminding me that his late brother could have played the part much better. Geoffrey Arend and Serdar Kalsin, who played the two reluctant terrorists, were great, too, and there were lots of fun cameos (like Dennis Hopper as a judge shooting zombie ACLU lawyers).
Go see it — I bet you'll have a good time. It's definitely a patriotic message movie, and it hits you over the head — but they're using a rubber chicken.
On a different subject, I didn't watch the last debate, and from what I've heard, I'm glad. Ted Nugent characterized McCain's debate performance — and pretty much his whole campaign — as "tepid." That strikes me as apt.
If you're a fan of the charming, quirky, and seriously surreal ABC fantasy series Pushing Daisies (I am), and you'll be in the downtown Denver area this Wednesday, September 17th (I won't be, darn it), drop by Larimer Square (1430 Larimer Street) between 10 AM and 2 PM. The "Mobile Pie Hole" restaurant will be there. They'll be giving out free pie, pie cutters, spatulas, etc., and playing footage from the show on plasma TVs as waitresses on daisy bicycles ride around.
If you've seen the show, that made perfect sense. If not, take my word for it, it'll be fun.
Other upcoming Mobile Pie Hole visits are scheduled in Dallas, Chicago, Philly, and NYC. More info at Pushing Daisies Touch of Wonder Tour (requires Flash player).
The new season of Pushing Daisies begins Oct. 1. If you've never seen it and have a broadband connection, check it out online — you can watch several complete episodes here. I bet you'll become a fan.
Doug Ross posted this funny July 4th cartoon. It's originally from The People's Cube, a really great satire site that I lost track of and haven't visited in a while.
On the Fourth of July Americans will cynically celebrate the greatest setback world progress has ever endured in all of human history. The rest of humankind will, of course, be grieving over the dark day when the United States of America was born. To understand the full scope of this tragedy we must look back at the pre-7/04 world and see what it was like to live on planet Earth before 1776. ~ Prior to July 4, 1776, not a single person in the world starved, got sick, worked hard for a living, or experienced any pain and anxiety. No one had ever been oppressed or unfairly exploited because the oppressive and unfair American system had not yet been created. …
People never heard of wars, crime, corruption, slavery, torture, murder, cannibalism, and man-made hurricanes. Peace and harmony reigned supreme because the concepts of greed, selfishness, and private property had not yet been invented by the American corporate interests and maliciously spread around the world as part of the American cultural hegemony.
Read the whole thing. If you really like the cartoon, you can get it on a T-shirt; there's a link at the end of the post.
Oh, and here's a quick hit from their sidebar feature, "News we just don't have time to write about," that illustrates the deliciously wicked nature of The People's Cube's humor:
Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt
Here's a belated bit of a tribute to George Carlin, America's funniest foul-mouthed curmudgeon for many years. Like many of his fellow leftist/counterculture types, he anthropomorphized Planet Earth, but his take was somewhat different.
Today, James Hansen is back in the news calling for energy company execs to be "tried for high crimes against humanity and nature" and declaring "We're toast" if we don't stop global warming (but in 1971, Hansen was part of the "fossil fuels could trigger an ice age" crowd). So it seems appropriate to remember Carlin's entertaining take on such dire predictions.
Here's a taste of what's in the video below:
"The planet has been through a lot worse than us … been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sunspots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles, … bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, … cosmic rays, recurring ice ages — and we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference?"
7½ very funny minutes, ending with his embrace of The Big Electron. Need I warn you about the language? R.I.P, George.
The Dissident Frogman was amused by the remarkable ignorance of firearms recently exhibited by the editors and war correspondents of Agence France Presse. As a public service, he created a short educational video that explains the basics of bullets, cartridges, and "boomsticks" in simple terms that even journalists can understand. "Since you will fake the news from Iraq anyway," he tells AFP, it won't kill you to make the hoax a bit more credible."
Priceless. You've got to watch this video. Just make sure you're not drinking anything you don't want all over your monitor and keyboard. And be sure to stick around through the credits — there are bloopers/out-takes at the end.
Check out the comments, too. The exchange between lefty and the frogman is too good to miss.
I generally don't watch TV on Sundays except during football season, so I keep forgetting about the Fox News Channel's 1/2 Hour News Hour on Sunday evenings. Judging from a couple of clips, I've been missing some great stuff. For instance, this past Sunday's show included this marvelous two-minute bit exposing the idiocy of the gun control crowd. (HT: Frank J.)
Start Your Own "Gun Free Zone"
Some years ago, a Denver community group, Capitol Hill United Neighborhoods, actually distributed buttons that said "I Am Unarmed," and the enlightened, caring liberals of Capitol Hill proudly put them on. Some of us couldn't contain our laughter. As with the clip above, if you don't see the humor, I don't suppose there's any point in explaining.
On a totally different subject, here's another 1/2 Hour News Hour clip that's got to be one of the most devastating put-downs of a public figure ever aired on television. Not so much funny as satisfying.
According to Craig Ferguson, the networks are showing their new fall TV shows to advertisers this week. I'm pretty sure Ferguson is the only talk show host who can pull off an extended riff on the new series, Law and Order: Restless Leg Syndrome. Or another proposal for a TV series, Ghost Chimp, M.D.
One of my favorite recent Ferguson quotes illustrates both his self-deprecating humor and a keen sense of how enamored we are of technology: "I have no idea what a megapixel is, but I'll pay three hundred bucks for an extra one."
On a much more serious note, Ferguson's extemporaneous February monologue about Britney Spears has been nominated for an Emmy, and deservedly so. CBS posted it on their site, where you can watch it with Real Player (which is not as obnoxious as it used to be), but they've also put it on YouTube, so here it is. I highly recommend it. This may be the most compelling, powerful, moving, and genuine twelve minutes of television you'll ever see. And did I mention that it was entirely unscripted and extemporaneous? Truly awesome.
Craig Ferguson’s monologue tonight was all about how he’s become a big NFL football fan. He said that this year, he’s rooting for the New Orleans Saints. How could you not root for the Saints, he opined, after all that city’s been through?
And besides, "Last year, they were 3 and 13. This year, they’re knocking on the door of the Super Bowl. It just shows goes to show how fast you can rebuild when FEMA’s not in charge." <rimshot />
